


Steady (me)

by renecdote



Category: Leverage
Genre: Angst, Eliot is such a good friend, Episode: S04e07 The Grave Danger Job, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attack, Team as Family, episode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:09:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27234025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renecdote/pseuds/renecdote
Summary: He wonders whether Hardison knows how lucky he is, having someone who loves him this much.
Relationships: Parker & Eliot Spencer (Leverage)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	Steady (me)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a tumblr prompt ("I can't breathe") ages ago but forgot to post it here.

The sound of knocking wakes him. Not hollow enough to be the door but—the window, it’s someone banging on the window. The big one in the living room, wide enough for Eliot to fit through if he needs a quick escape, leading right out onto a creaky fire escape. He isn’t surprised to find Parker when he throws the window open.

He is surprised at the way she grabs at his shirt as she tumbles inside.

“Can’t—" she wheezes “—breathe, I can’t—“

They end up on the floor, Parker in a heap, Eliot kneeling in front of her. Her fingers have slipped down his shoulder to grasp at his wrist, nails sharp and bruising. She’s breathing fast, hyperventilating, and even though Eliot’s first instinct is to call 911, he stops, assesses the situation. If this was an actual medical emergency, Parker wouldn’t have come here. 

So: panic attack.

A part of Eliot was expecting this, after the day they had, only he thought it would be Hardison knocking down his door.

“Okay,” he says. Thinks _calm, sound calm_ even though he definitely isn’t. Because Parker? Parker does not freak out. She just doesn’t. But somehow Eliot’s voice stays calm and even as he continues, “Parker I want you to do something for me. Can you do something for me?”

She shakes her head, eyes wide and panicked. Eliot wonders if she’s even hearing him, but he doesn’t let it deter him. If this doesn’t get through to her, he’ll just have to try something else.

“I want you to take a breath. A nice, deep breath.”

He does it himself; and Parker must be tracking more than he thought because she copies him. It’s a stuttering inhale, whooshing out too quickly, but it’s good. It’s a start.

“Good,” Eliot says. “Good girl.” He squeezes her hand. They go through the breathing a few more times. “Now I need you to tell me what you see. Three things—list them.”

“You,” Parker gasps. “I see—I see you. Your apartment. There’s—there’s moonlight, on the floor.”

“Good. You’re doing good. Now give me three things you can hear.”

And on, through the rest of the senses. By the time they get to taste, Parker is trembling but no longer hyperventilating; calm enough for Eliot to get up and go to the kitchen. He fills a glass with water and flicks the switch for the living room light on his way back.

In the time he was gone, Parker has pulled in on herself. She’s sitting against the wall under the window, knees tucked up under her chin, arms wrapped around her legs. Eliot sits down beside her, half mirroring the position with one knee to his chest, arm draped across it. He offers Parker the glass of water, but she doesn’t take it. She takes a deep breath instead and he watches her count the seconds before she lets it out, still a little shaky on the exhale.

“He almost died.”

“I know.”

“Eliot.” It’s not quite a sob. “He almost _died_.”

Eliot pulls her into a hug. “I know,” he says, and it’s harder than he thought, scraping the words out past the sudden lump in his throat. “But he didn’t. We got there; we saved him. He’s safe at home right now, probably killing space orcs with his geek friends.”

But not sleeping. After today... Yeah, Hardison is definitely not sleeping. Eliot will probably have to deal with that at some point too, unless Sophie gets there first. 

Parker doesn’t speak again. For a while she just cries, heavy and overarm against Eliot’s chest. It’s not loud crying. He isn’t even sure whether to call it crying, honestly, because it’s mostly just hitching breaths and empty, choking sobs. Eliot strokes her hair, whispers soothing nonsense occasionally, but mostly he just holds her. Aches for her.

He wonders whether Hardison knows how lucky he is, having someone who loves him this much. 

He also wonders why Parker didn’t just go over to Hardison’s place and see that he was alright herself. He’s pretty sure it wasn’t just because Eliot’s apartment was closer.

Maybe he doesn’t have to wonder though. Maybe he gets it, how hard being vulnerable is. Maybe that’s why she came to him. 

(Or maybe he’s thinking about it too much. Maybe it was just because his apartment was closer. What does he know?)

When Parker pulls back, she sniffs and scrubs at her face with her sleeves. Her voice is thick, croaky, when she says, “He kissed me.”

Eliot blinks; takes an extra second to process that.

“He said—he said he wouldn’t have made it through it without me. What if—“

She chokes; can’t go on. But Eliot knows how that sentence ends.

_What if I hadn’t been able to save him?_

Or maybe _what if I hadn’t been there?_

“You can’t think like that,” he says. “Trust me, I’ve spent a lot of my life thinking things like that and it never leads anywhere good. You did good today, Parker. Hardison is okay. You’ve got to focus on that.”

Her eyes are red and swollen, her cheeks flushed, stained with tears and anguish. It makes Eliot’s chest ache, the way she looks at him like he has all the answers. Like he _has to_ because she doesn’t have them herself.

“What if I can’t?”

“You can.” His voice is firm. “You know how I know that?”

Parker shakes her head; rubs more tears away with her knuckles.

“Because you’re not alone. We’re a team, right? And if you’re not there, one of us will be.”

Always. She should never doubt that. None of them should.

He waits while the words sink in. When they do, Parker smiles, thin and watery but real.

“We’re a pretty good team,” she says.

Eliot smiles back. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.”

Parker kisses his cheek. “Thank you, Eliot.”

Surprise melts quickly into fondness. Eliot clears his throat, shoving it all down under his usual gruffness. “Yeah, well.” And then he looks at her face again and, fuck, these people have made him soft. “You’re welcome,” he grunts. Then, when the silence has sunk over them again, “It’s been a long day; you should get some sleep.” 

He’s pretty sure he’s not imagining how reluctant her nod is.

“You can stay here if you want, but I better not find anything missing in the morning—remember I know where to find you.”

Parker’s smile is sudden and brilliant. “I know,” she says solemnly. “And I know where to find you too.”

Then she’s bouncing up, disappearing down the hall before Eliot can muster a _dammit Parker I wasn’t saying that to be mushy—_

It’s not like he would correct her though. Because yeah, if she ever needed to be found, he’d come for her. And he wouldn’t be the only one.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr is [here](https://renecdote.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
